


To Walk Unafraid

by inurclosets



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Character Study, Conversations, Family Feels, Feel-good, Gen, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychosis, Therapy, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inurclosets/pseuds/inurclosets
Summary: Following the fall of Sector 7, Andrea invites Cloud to speak with him one-on-one as he suspects there's more going on beneath that cold exterior than Cloud is willing to admit.  He's surprised to see Cloud take him up on that invitation as quickly as he does which brings them both some peace of mind.
Relationships: Andrea Rhodea & Cloud Strife
Comments: 6
Kudos: 75





	To Walk Unafraid

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: i am not a industry professional in therapy or psychology, i'm my own fucked up person who wrote this to cope with the state of the world and my own stresses. Please seek the skills of a trained professional if you too are struggling or suffering from mental health issues, trauma, or just newfound existential dread from current events. That said, I hope you enjoy this fic!

Andrea had a teeming interest in the spikey haired blond who championed Corneo’s Tournament and after having what some might call a fated meeting with the young man, Andrea understood exactly two things.

The first was that Madam M had been entirely correct in her assessment that the young man had danced with death more times than Andrea himself could possibly imagine and come out the victor each time.

The second was that this Cloud Strife had many internal struggles that kept him from embracing the true beauty of his personhood. It was likely this second was tied to the first but by having Cloud indulge him in a dance, and a visual transformation, Cloud momentarily appeared to have embraced a part of himself that he otherwise shunned and ignored. He had a star quality to him that Andrea was really quite fond of, wishing he could make a proposal for Cloud to work with him at the Honeybee Inn though he knew ultimately that the other man had his own course of action to pursue.

The distant screeching of metal followed by a crescendo of moans, bangs, and shudders resonated through Sector 6. Everything stopped abruptly as the sounds cascaded over one another. Andrea had cancelled all shows for the day, evacuated the Honeybee Inn of employees and guests to stand outside and witness a thick dust rise and coat the air around them, helpless to do anything but stare on with pained remorse. Andrea had been around long enough to see the crash of Sector 6’s plate, but he had hoped it was an incident he would never have to witness again.

There was cleanup to be done from the events of the fall even in Sector 6, but what surprised him to see was the fact that Cloud seemed to be running jobs between each Sector as if nothing had changed for him. Perhaps it hadn’t but Andrea didn’t quite buy the sternly stoic disposition Cloud placed in front of himself and between the rest of the world.

Andrea did his best to lighten that tension in what was some friendly competition, though once was all said and done, he tapped Cloud on the shoulder to speak with him privately away from all the others.

“You might be able to divert the concerns of everyone else, Cloud, so I won’t ask the same question only to receive the same response,” Andrea informed him simply, “I would appreciate it if you could carve some time out to come speak with me privately at the Honeybee Inn.”

“Huh?” Cloud looked at him first with confusion then concern. His guard slipping immediately back into place.

Andrea sighed, “I’m a busy man Cloud, but if you come, I will make the exception to speak with you regardless of whatever else I am doing. That is a promise.”   
“What did you want to talk about?” Cloud asked while folding his arms over his chest.

“No one walks away from the fall of an entire Sector, an event that affects thousands of lives, and doesn’t develop some inner turmoil because of it,” Andrea stated simply, “Come see me should you like.” Andrea decided all he could really do was leave the notion in Cloud’s hands as he took his leave from the Gym. Jules was a good friend of Andrea’s with a drag show to be performed later that night. Jules always knew how to drag in a crowd and make every one of their guests feel welcome. In fact, that was how much of his gym had grown in its numbers over the years. People saw him perform and were attracted to this innate display of being true to oneself, seeking him out afterwards as his performance opened a door into something they hadn’t perceived before.

Andrea decided to leave that door open for Cloud as well, in a different way. He had not made arrangements to change his schedule, only informing his staff that were Cloud to return, that Andrea would be made aware and make whatever arrangements necessary to see Cloud during that time. Everything else would proceed exactly as planned. He was a busy man after all but Andrea did feel some sense of parenthood in regards to the young blond man.

In his short time there, Cloud had made his own positive influence on Wallmarket’s community and Andrea would be ignorant to shun that potential growth.

...

“Mr. Rhodea,” one of his staff greeted him as Andrea was going over choreography with his backup dancers, “Mr. Strife is here to see you.”

“So soon..?” Andrea moved out of his routine with a sigh, “Majorie, you have a clear understanding of the routine. Would you be a doll and take over walking them through the finer points?”

“Yes sir,” Majorie agreed, making her way up to the center of the stage, “Alright everyone! And one, two, three--”

Andrea stepped down and walked through the deserted seating area to the round hall where his receptionist guided him to another room off to the side where Cloud was waiting. The young man was inspecting various elements of the room with a stern expression.

“I’m surprised you came,” Andrea confessed honestly, “I had expected you would prefer to push on with whatever quest you presently have prominently ahead of you.”

Cloud turned around, only mildly startled, “I… Uh….”

“Have something on your mind?” Andrea hummed.

Cloud nodded, “To put it lightly.”

Andrea noticed that Cloud still had his rather large buster blade strapped to his back and sighed, moving to take a seat himself, “Well, I suspect you’ve seen more than your fair share of traumatic experiences. You once worked for Shinra, correct?”

Cloud nodded, facing towards Andrea now with a stern expression.

Andrea could see it faintly beneath the surface. A young man troubled by so much, burdened well beyond his years. It broke his heart when there was obviously such a youthful glow and spirit yet to bloom. Troubled by the suffering of the world instead and pretending that none of it was any difference to him. He gestured across at the chair presently vacant beside Cloud, “Take a seat. If you get thirsty, let me know and I will have someone bring us water, tea, or liquor, pending on your preference.”

“Is this how your meetings always go?” Cloud asked, hesitant to comply though he did finally remove his sword, propping it up carefully against the chair only to catch it when it started to slide with a frown.

_ Still a child _ , Andrea mused to himself with a faint smile and gestured for Cloud to lay it across the table, “I’ve only ever seen you with that sword. I take it that one must be important to you.”

“Yeah it’s--,” Cloud paused, wincing as he clutched his head for a moment. The poor boy gasped, shaking his head to counter whatever blockage he was met with inside. He couldn’t seem to quite get away from whatever was causing the feeling, hyperventilating a little as he tried to regain composure.

Andrea reached across the table, careful in the way he approached as he did not want to trigger any further negative response. He gently caressed Cloud’s forearm, “Cloud… Look at me.”

The young man did, a lost look in his eyes as he seemed confronted with so much at once that he didn’t have the ability to cope with.

Andrea gave him a soft smile, “Cloud, are you familiar with any techniques to cope with trauma?”

“Cope… with?” Cloud asked with absolute confusion.

Andrea nodded before sitting back, “When someone undergoes a variety of high stress situations, our body develops habits to cope with that stress. Some of those habits can serve us in the moment but ultimately lead us to greater harm later on. One of those techniques for coping with trauma and stress is to take a moment to identify the cause of it.”

Cloud frowned, staring at the sword with concern, “....So you think my sword is…..?”

Andrea shook his head, “Obviously you have no issue while wielding it or carrying it around, so the sword itself isn’t the issue. I would think it’s the memories you have connected to it that may be the source of some stress.”

Cloud sat silently a moment staring at the sword as he tried not to think about it, wincing each time he did. Andrea reached out, putting a hand over one of Cloud’s, “Focus on me if it’s too much to confront right now. These sorts of matters are never resolved in a matter of minutes. It takes diligence, forgiveness, and slow staggered confrontation.”

Cloud looked up at him with eyes so blue that it made Andrea almost cry. He offered a reassuring smile instead, “You don’t have to be afraid, Cloud. You are invited to be yourself any time you come here.”

“I don’t understand,” Cloud murmured looking away, “I don’t remember what happened.”

“That’s also a common reaction to trauma,” Andrea informed him gently, “When we encounter something that may be too much for us, we have a tendency to forget or block it out so that pain can’t continue to harm us, but often times it still does and it takes a very strong will to confront that pain. You are fortunate Cloud. You have a very close group of individuals who care about you, that would gladly let you lean upon them should you ever need too. Don’t squander that gift. I know you’re cautious not to lean in too much or step too heavily despite clearly struggling with whatever you’re facing inside. Dance isn’t the only way to truly express yourself. Neither is fighting.”

“I… Feel like I don’t have the words,” Cloud struggled, “Every time someone asks how I am… It’s easier to just say I’m fine than give any real answer.”

“A trap we all fall into sometimes,” Andrea agreed, “So I want you to be honest with yourself. Even if you can’t quite find the words, try to describe it instead. Discuss how your body feels. Do you feel sore anywhere? Has your heart rate increased? How about your breathing?”

“My head…” Cloud muttered, “It’s like a ringing in my head sometimes. My vision gets blurry. I can’t tell if what I’m seeing at times is real or not but… It feels real. I hear things, my body tenses. I get…. Scared.”

Andrea nodded, “What sort of things do you see?”

“...Sephiroth,” Cloud whispered.

“The war hero?” Andrea asked, “Have you met him before?”

Cloud nodded, “He…. destroyed my hometown.”

Andrea drew in a breath, “Cloud… If it is alright with you, I would very much like to give you a hug.”

Cloud looked up at him again, those bright blue eyes looking as if they were about to spill over, “...A hug?”

Andrea nodded, getting to his feet, “Surely you’ve had one before.”

“Yeah but…” Cloud became immediately more defensive.

“In the world of dance, physical connection is essential to grow and flourish,” Andrea expressed, waiting for Cloud to rise to his feet, “It’s good for the body and mind and allows for an emotional connection to be established between individuals. Like anything, these connections can be tainted, abused, and garner negativity but a genuine hug never can be. It is the purest platonic form of connection.”

Cloud slowly got to his feet, facing Andrea who moved carefully in the way he wrapped his arms around Cloud’s biceps, pulling him gently into a hug, “I do not know your history, Cloud, but I do know a man in misery when I see one. You are welcome to express yourself openly here anytime you need to.”   
Cloud seemed stiff at first, unsure how to respond to the embrace but Andrea guided Cloud’s head to his shoulder, encouraging him to relax. Cloud’s breath slowed as he accepted the new posture, the tension in his arms and back lessened gradually.

“There is no judgement here,” Andrea assured him, “Any guilt or shame you might carry with you is not welcome here. Any negative thoughts or fears you may harbour about yourself have no place here. You are welcome to be you, flaws and all. The decision to change those aspects will come with patience and kindness to yourself.” He rubbed Cloud’s back, drawing in a slow breath in hopes that it would encourage Cloud to do the same, “You are a good person, Cloud.”

There was a hiccup, a twitch in Cloud’s posture suddenly followed by a sudden shake. His head pressed down into Andrea’s shoulder with a gasp and shudder. Cloud’s hands balled into fists against Andrea’s chest, trying for a moment to stop the emotional release that hit him suddenly like a typhoon. Andrea held Cloud’s head against his shoulder, encouraging him to stay put and let it all out. He caressed Cloud’s back in a soothing manner, uttering a soft, “That’s right… You can let it out now. You don’t have to keep it all trapped inside.”

Cloud let out a small whine, still struggling with himself, afraid of what might follow once the floodgates were open.

Cloud cried for an indeterminate amount of time. Andrea had given explicit instructions to his staff not to bother him under any circumstances should Cloud come and was pleased to see that order was respected.

When Cloud’s sobbing and tears seemed to finally cease, Andrea released him from the embrace and looked at him with a warmth he usually reserved for his own staff when they came to him with various issues, “Better?”

“...I don’t see how that was supposed to resolve anything,” Cloud muttered as he sniffed and wiped at his own nose.

Andrea smiled, producing a handkerchief to dry Cloud’s eyes and cheeks before handing it to him to keep and blow his nose with, “Resolve? No, but it’s a release. By allowing yourself that release, then you can proceed with a clearer head and approach the issues that caused those tears with far more clarity. ...It’s important to take care of all aspects of yourself, Cloud, body and mind. How you feel emotionally and mentally can take a toll on the body just like any physical injury.”

Cloud frowned, wiping his nose with the handkerchief, “Is that the only reason you wanted me to come here.”

Andrea smiled, “Honestly, I was hoping you would come work for me at some point. I believe you have an untapped potential as an entertainer, but I realize you have other commitments that may take the main stage first. I won’t hold you back from that, but if there is anything I can do to help, it would be my pleasure.”

Cloud’s expression relaxed, no longer wearing the usual scowl that seemed ever present upon his entry. Instead whatCloud appeared to reflect a truer expression of himself which was a deeply exhausted young man who had long since pushed beyond his limits.

“I can’t think of anything right now,” Cloud confessed softly, “But…. If I do, I’ll let you know.”   
“It would be an honor,” Andrea assured him with a smile and for a moment, Cloud’s expression flinched, looking so much softer and… Sad. Andrea hesitated in response, wondering if he had somehow overstepped.

Cloud struggled for a moment, like there was something else he wanted to say, but couldn’t quite find the words to fill the phrasing out, “I…. Hm…”

“Yes..?” Andrea encouraged.

That usual furrow of Cloud’s brows returned but this time for focus, “....I was wondering…. If I could have another hug, before I go.”

Andrea relaxed, “Yes, of course.” He put his arms up and out of the way to invite Cloud in who stepped in without much if any hesitation at all, his arms wrapping around Andrea’s back in a surprisingly tight embrace which Andrea returned more gently than that which Cloud displayed. There was no doubt about it, the young man was incredibly strong.

Cloud held the embrace for a few moments before pulling away with a mild embarrassment before quickly fitting his sword onto his back, “See you around.”

“Yes,” Andrea agreed, raising his hand before Cloud could beeline for the door, “Oh and Cloud.”

Cloud stopped, turning to look at Andrea.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Andrea encouraged simply.

Cloud’s expression relaxed, giving Andrea a nod, an agreement before slipping out of the room and back into the hall with the door shutting behind him. Andrea let out a sigh, moving across the room to pour himself a drink. In part, celebration for the young man who was slowly making steady strides in the right direction but also in silent prayer that the young man would be alright.


End file.
